FrystorkadPapaya

The leaving....

I left Sweden the 15^th of February 2009 to be an Au-Pair in Scotland and to improve my English. The thought I had was to be an Au-Pair for a year and I was really looking forward to do that. I find a family on the internet and they sounded really good and I talked with the mum in the phone and she sounded really nice and friendly. We send e–mails for a couple of weeks and then I booked my ticket for the 15^th of February. My brothers took me to Arlanda airport. We left home about 5 o’clock in the morning, because we (I) was driving and it takes about 2,5 – 3 hours to get to the airport and my flight was 9.10 in the morning. I did say bye - bye to my mum in the morning before we left.

I had never travelled on my own before so it was quite scary and I was really upset because I missed my family already. I did cry and felt very alone when I sat on my own in the big airport. I think that the waiting was the worsted part of all. I’m really happy that I have been travelling before (Italy and Mallorca) so I knew what to do. It was a bit scary when I landed in London Heathrow because it is a big place and everything was in English, even though I knew a bit of English (okay I know a lot more then I say) it was a completely different thing to actually be around all English things and people. Then I needed to wait for about 2 hours in London for my next flight to Glasgow.

When I finally did arrive I was a bit late. My Au-Pair mother picked me up and then we drove for about 40-50 min till we arrived to the house, outside Stirling. We talked a bit on the way but not all the time, it was a quite stiff conversation but I have to say I liked her, she was nice. Then when we arrived I met the father and the 2 kids they had, a boy and a girl. The girl was 8 and the boy was 4,5 years old. They seemed really nice all of them but I was a bit wrong. It all started really good and we all get along but the more time that went by I started to see things and notice other things. I really don’t want to talk about that, it wasn’t really a good period of my life but I have to say that it actually gave me a sight into having kids and a marriage and I realized that I‘m very lucky to have my mum and dad and my 2 brothers. But I still want to have kids and I know my kids will be the best and most behaved.

Some people are just strange with very strange rules, but anyway. I have to say that it had positive things as well, I had a quite big room and I had a big bed and TV in my room that was really nice, wish I had that at home. I hade the possibility to use the car as much as I liked when I wasn’t working and I was off Saturdays and Sundays. I didn’t do much on my weekends in the beginning but in the end I started to go to the movies and to the shopping mall. Not that I really needed anything it was just to get away and to have some privet time. Even though I have had my driving licence sense 2004 and my driving was/is good but to learn how to drive on the left side of the road AND in the left side in the car wasn’t that easy. But luckily I manage and it went very well, the only problem is/was the roundabouts – but if I took it easy it was no problems but it was when there were other cars behind me I got a bit stressed but I never crashed or got hurt or hurt anyone else. And I have luck because the car I had was automatic, which made the driving so much easier. They lived very rural and we didn’t have any young neighbours, so on my free time I had no one to talk to. The things I did buy were books, lots of books but the thing is I never read them, just send them home. I did by the Twilight saga books, and I absolutely love them. Did actually by the movie Twilight, at Tesco’s in April, I like the movie but the book are soooo much better but I do like Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan but also Peter Facinelli aka Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I stayed as an Au-Pair for about 2 month and then everything went downhill and I ended up at the boss of the agency for 3 days and it was really nice. I liked her, she was really friendly and one of her daughters was home from school and we got along very well. The boss also had another business that involved the hotel and bed and breakfast business. She asked me if I was interested in something like that and I was because I didn’t wanna go home after just 2 month, that wasn’t right – because my grandmother paid for the ticket and I wanted to get the most of it and just 2 month wasn’t enough.

One other thing that I did was to join a writing group, and that was thanks to a friend of my Au-Pair mother. I enjoyed it, it was funny and I had an opportunity to show people what I can write and then get good criticism and help how to write and so on. I liked Tom the leader; he was/is a good person. Still have the mail address so I can still send him stuff if I took the time to actually write some stuff down.

Pitlochry......

So I talked to Martin from Craigatin, on the phone on the 8^th of April and we agreed that I would come over to Pitlochry on the 9^th of April. Never heard the name Pitlochry and I couldn’t even pronounce it. I took the train and it was really scary because I really didn’t like trains. I tried to call Martin when I arrived but I couldn’t at first because my Swedish phone couldn’t make English number phone calls. But after like 10 min I talked to Martin and he came to get me in his car. He and his wife Andrea own the Craigatin House and Courtyard in the north end of Pitlochry. We had a little meeting in front of the fire. It was a little scary but everything went very well, then after the meeting Martin took me to see the room which I was gonna share with 2 other girls. The first of the girls I meet was Steph (Scottish) and it went well, she was nice and then after a while I meet Paula (Australian). Me and Steph shared the living room/bedroom and Paula had the spare extra room. They had extra jobs so that gave me time to unpack and have some time on my own and later they took me out for a welcome drink (or several, for 14 days in a row).. It was a lot of fun. It was then one of those days I meet Cameron and David and the other nice guys at McKays. And I fell for Cameron quite hard but never in love just fell for him.

I started working at Craigatin and then after about a month or two I started at The Auld Smiddy Inn as an extra job, it was good in the beginning. Everyone was really nice and friendly. Steph was working there before me and she didn’t like it anymore, strange hours and bad work. Paula had her extra job at Octobers/MacKenzies coffee shop. All days were the same, work, work, work but I do earn a lot of money. I did travel to some places in the beginning of my visit here. I went to Inverness, Perth, St.Andrews, Stirling, Edinburgh, Dundee and Glasgow. The first time I went to St.Andrews was when I was an Au-Pair and I hade the automatic car and a TOMTOM (GPS) and then the other times I hired a car for the other times I have been there. I have a good relationship with the car hiring people, so I get the car for a little bit cheaper which I really appreciate.

I have to say that I’m not that impressed about Glasgow but I have only been there once, I will go back to have another look around. The first time I went to Edinburgh I wasn’t impressed either but after I meet Daniel, its fun to go to Edinburgh and I have seen the other side of the city that’s not full of touristic shopping malls. I now like Edinburgh but I have still not been to the Castle – which I wish to do. Inverness was okay, probably need to go there again but not now. When I went to Dundee I went with Martin to get an NIC number, it was all rush, rush but we made it and I actually had a good time. Then we stopped in Perth on the way back to do some food shopping. I had my first Starbucks coffee, a nice one. 

 

Work and people...

At Craigatin I start working at 7.30 in the morning all the way to 13.00. When I first started I was working as a waitress and making beds. The breakfast is served between 8-9.30, during the weeks and between 8-10, on the weekends. And after breakfast we made the beds and cleaned the rooms, which took forever (na not really but sometimes it really felt like it). Paula was working in the kitchen with Andrea so I, Steph and Maggie were out and talking and serving the customers. Martin was out and talking to the customers as well and doing the toast. Maggie (Scottish) is like the terminator – always on a run and she never stands still cos she really hates it. Paula left in the end of May for a holiday and when she left Noi came. Steph moved into the small room and me and Noi (Thai) shared the big room. We all went out to welcome her.  And work just continued. I and Noi really getting along, she is now one of my best friends. And after Paula left, me and Noi took turns to be in the kitchen and out in the dining room. I preferred to be in the kitchen and after Noi left I have been in the kitchen all the time. (Until now, when it’s only me and Maggie working.)

Then one day (again) Steph was late for work, Martin fired her and he gave her only a couple of hours to pack and to disappear. So after she left there was a couple of days without anyone else but then Ann came. (Thai as well). We had a quite nice time the three of us, and we all worked together at Craigatin and at The Auld Smiddy Inn. Days went by and nothing really happened, all we did was work and work. Noi made us Thai food and it was really good. Life was quite boring, no life at all really. I’m not complaining I just worked, didn’t even go out – to tired. But I did go to the Theatre and to Blair Castle and to the House of Bruar – the most expensive place I have ever been to.

Sure I made a lot of money and I opened a bank account in June at Lloyds TSB. Been sending money home as well and I still have money to spend, strangely. I have been buying books and DVDs more then I should but I can’t help myself. Have send them all home now except a few new ones.

Noi’s boyfriend came up a couple of times and he is really nice and friendly. I like him. In the middle of August Ann left and Izumi (Japanese) came and then in the end of August Noi left and Cara (Australian/Scottish) came. Noi is now living down in Brighton with her boyfriend and they are getting married in February. I’m invited to the wedding and I’m going to the wedding but the thing is that the wedding is in Thailand. Hmm that’s going to be interesting but I’m looking forward to it.

Izumi and Cara is funny people. Izumi started working at Auld Smiddy one day before I finished from there. I hade no problem with the people working there it was we didn’t always get along and I didn’t like the work hours. I worked a couple of days a week at Smiddy, mostly from 6 o’clock to 10, sometimes from 5 o’clock. But you never knew when you finished, even though they told me the finishing time it was always something that destroyed that but sometimes I could actually finish earlier. But I did make a good friend, Shelly. Then I made friends with Tom. I liked to come up in the kitchen because we always made jokes and laugh and having a good time but my boss didn’t like that because you are not supposed to have fun – just work and the customers is the most important thing there. I do agree but not as much as them. I wanted to make friends and to enjoy life. Working as a waitress there was an experience and I’m glad I had the chance to do that. The dress code was black trousers, white shirt and a black tie (they provided that and an apron.) Shelly and I got along very well, but now a days I have no idea where she is or what she’s doing – it’s like she disappeared from the map. She don’t answer her phone or any texts.. 

On the 24^th of August I started working at Octobers/MacKenzies coffee shop. And I’m still working there and I like the people I work with. I’m finishing at the coffee shop at the 27^th of November and its going to be a nice feeling. Audrey is the mini boss there and the “big” bosses are Rachael and Mark. They own the coffee shop and the Christmas Emporium next door, a nice place, but I would go insane if I worked there the entire year around. The one I really, really like working with is Helen a 14 year old girl she is the best! So funny and so grown up. I’m gonna miss all the people I like from here.

The people I have worked with are quite a lot and some of them have been a real pleasure to work with and others have a little bit harder to work with. But I’m glad that I had the opportunity to get to know all there people and I really gonna miss some of them.

 

Things...

What have I done since I left Sweden? That is actually a good question – what have I done? I have improved my English quite a lot, I made some friends, worked my ass off and earned money. I have travelled around and seen bits and pieces of Scotland, but I wish to see more. I have been to Edradour Distillery and it was an interesting tour but it was a bit short but the Edradour is the smallest distillery in the entire Scotland. I bought cream liquor that I’m not going to be ale to finish before I go home. It’s too bad I can’t take it on the plane and I also have a bottle of Limoncello that I found in an Italian shop in St.Andrews.

I have found a shop in St.Andrews that I really love – it’s a “magical” one and I have bought a lot of things from there and I could and will buy more. But I have to wait until I come back for New Year, made a good friend in that store as well. He can talk I promise, but we always have good conversations. I’m learning how to do the Tarot Cards, Palm Reading, Auras, Dream Reading and Runes. It’s not easy but slowly I’ll get there.

It doesn’t look like I have been doing that much, but mostly I have just been working and trying to sleep. It’s not easy to sleep when you have roomies. I’m so happy right now when I’m on my own. Don’t get me wrong I have enjoyed my roomies but I really appreciate my freedom and my own space.

On thing I’ve done that I haven’t done before is passing out. I went to Edinburgh on the 4^th of November to visit Daniel. I came around in the afternoon and I meet up with Daniel at the station and we went for dinner. We went to the Grass market to have our food at The Black Bull. I had calamari and haggis balls and honeycomb ice-cream for desert. Daniel had veg.pasta and we shared a bottle of red wine. After the dinner we went to a plaza to meet up with other people who also were taking the ghost tour around Edinburgh. The tour guide we had was named Euan and he was quite enthusiastic about the tour, but he had not made up his mind if there were any ghost or not. The first bit of the tour was nice but there were two girls who had gum in there mouth and they did NOT shut there mouth and that is one thing that drives me crazy. Yuck! F**k! Anyway after like 40 min we went down to the dungeons and I have no problem with dungeons. (I have been quite stressed lately and not been sleeping properly). In the first room we came in to was warm so I took my jacket off and there was nothing more with that, I told Daniel that it was really warm and when we came in to the next room I was boiling hot on my front and ice cold on my back. The guide was talking about the ghost that where in the different rooms, a small boy named Jack and the there was the watcher that don’t like people at all. In the second room there were a blacksmith or something like that and there were a lady in black cloths, but she stayed only in her corner and if she attacked women, but I wasn’t in her corner at all. But suddenly my stomach just pulled together – just like before you are gonna throw up, which I thought I was gonna do – but no. I leaned on to Daniel because I did not have any balance at all then everything went black and I don’t remember anything about falling. Then I heard the people around but I couldn’t move and I just wanted to sleep. After a while that didn’t seem that long to me the ambulance came. It took me 20 min to come back to reality – not that I wanted to, I just wanted to sleep and feel free. I know it sounds really bad but in one way I felt so free even though I was trapped in my own body – couldn’t move at all. It took us a while to get me up the ambulance because my head was spinning and I felt sick. Poor Daniel, he told me later on that the scariest thing down there was me. I feel so sorry for him but he didn’t mind. He is sooo nice and caring. The ambulance personal (Mike) took my blood pressure and some blood. But he said nothing was wrong but my blood pressure was a bit high to be me, which I told him. He did ask me a couple of times if I wanted to go to the hospital but I knew that it wasn’t a good idea because you just have to wait and then they would have done the same test that Mike did. But now after everything I do wish I hade gone to the hospital, so they could check my stomach at the same time. My head was spinning and I felt sick for about one hour after everything. Daniel and I went to Bella Italia and hade desert and coke. I still feel sorry for him and I think he still is worried about me.  I have no idea why I passed out for 20 min and neither does Mike, I think we never will find out. I can still feel dizzy and sick and I have figure out that I can’t stand when it’s hot and thicky sticky air I need it to bee cool and soft otherwise I’m getting really bad headaches and nausea.  I slept in Daniels bed that night and he slept on the couch in the living room, I even asked him to wake me up in the morning just in case I had a concussion or something. So 8 o’clock he woke me up because he was on his was to work and so was his roommates, so lucky me I hade the apartment for my self for the rest of the day if I wanted but I left just after 12. Bought I silver dress that I’m gonna wear at Christmas. Hade some Chinese food before I left to go back home. The plan I had was to go inside the castle but I didn’t have the strength to do that, I barely could keep my eyes open. So when I came back I told Cara everything and she was mortified and really worried.  But I’m fine now, just suffering from dizziness and headaches. And I have figure out that I can’t drink red wine without having food first and not fried food, or at least a bottle of wine just 1-2 glasses is okay.

One other thing I have discovered that no matter where I am I always find myself in impossible situations. But for a chance its not about the money this time it is about love as always. When you think you have found the one you want to share the rest of your life with something always comes up and destroys it or nothing happens at all just a dead moment, like when you pause in a movie, you have seen and done a bit and then you pause. That’s how my life is right now; in a pause and I truly honestly hate it!! How hard can it be to keep in touch? If you love someone then you are committed to each other and to keep in touch is not suppose to be the hardest thing to do. I know how hard it is to see each other when you live far apart but if you live almost next to each other. I know when there are other things that can stop you from seeing the one you love but as soon as an opportunity comes then take it for Gods sake! I have sacrificed so much and I have given so much but what have I gotten in return? Heartache and misbelieve in human kind, is what I have gotten in return. But still I love and I still I trust. By some reason I have a really good patience which in some situations isn’t as good as in others. My patience is a bit of a curse as well I wish I was strong enough to say what I really want to say, what I really felt about everyone and things. My mum keeps telling me everything will be okay and that I will have everything I wish for and I believe her because she is my mum and I love my mum. Sometimes or almost all the time I wish I hade some kind of superpower so I knew what to do and to expect from people and to know what they are thinking. I wish I could hear peoples thought but only when I wanted to.  

Fish and chip is really good if you have mayonnaise, ketchup and sweet chilli sauce on it. There is a very good Fish and chip shop on the way to Co-op (the food store) and it’s not to expensive. Another thing that’s really good is a BLT sandwich (bacon, lettuce and tomatoes), so yummy.. and there is nothing wrong with the chocolate. Before I came here I never eat beans in tomato sauce but now I can have a full traditional breakfast, which contains; beans, sausage, bacon, potato scone, half of a tomato and a fried egg. I like everything except the tomato and I have to have HP sauce on it. That I’m gonna miss when I go home, but I can do it but it wound be the same because we don’t have the same bacon. Our bacon in Sweden is small and it gets curly when it gets fried but the ones here is bigger and thicker and it stays more or less the same shape when it’s cooked. I wonder if we have potato scones in Sweden? Need to find out.

Everything is now more or less packed and washed and ready to go. I still have a lot of things that I need to have with me and I have no idea how to get everything with me. I now have 3 bags that I have packed, or they are still opened and I probably need to rearrange it so it’s not too heavy. But I’m happy that I’m coming back because I have too much, good then that I’m gonna give some away. So when I’m home again I’m gonna sort out my wardrobe and the attic – when I have time. Jeeze it’s a lot to sort out and it will take time and I know I have said that before. Hopefully I will have time soon to do that. Right now all I want is to be with the one I love and to hold him for ever. But I don’t know where all this is going but I hope for the best.

I’m going down to Brighton in January, the 5-10^th to visit Noi and then I’m going to Portugal 12-19^th of January for a nice holiday on my own and I really looking forward to do that after working 10 month in a row with only one day off a week. Then in February I’m off to Thailand after I have booked my ticket, don’t know for how long I’m going to be off but all I know is that Noi wanted me to be there at the latest the 26^th so I think I’ll go the 24^th of February so I’ll be there on the 25^th. So much to do and not so much time left, I have a couple of bookings to do before I go home on the 30^th of November, or I’ll go down to London on the train that day and then on the 1^st of December I’ll fly home. I’m staying with a friend for a couple of days before I go home- home. Gonna visit my grandmother as well, because I haven’t seen her for ages and ages. Then I might go and visit some other friends but I’m not sure if I have time for it, but I know that I probably can borrow my mums car when I’m home again.

I don’t know what else to write now. I have been sitting for a couple of days writing this. Some parts have been easy to write and some have been a bit harder. And it’s when I have turned of the computer I figure out more to write but never have the strength to write it down on paper. Like now, I have had a week off the Bed & Breakfast even though I been working a few times at the coffee shop, but have been such a nice and relaxed time just being on my own and to calm down. Like I said before my packing is almost done, now I just need to decide what to ware when I’m travelling home. And it’s not easy to decide what to ware and it need to be comfortable. That’s going to be interesting. 

One other thing that happened is that one day at MacKenzie’s it was me and Mark working and I was on my way down the stairs to get the mop and bucket and when I was half way down I fell and landed on my left side and especially on my hip and it hurt like hell. I did take the mop (I forgot the bucket) and then went up again and I told Mark that I fell and he told me to sit down. He gave me the last chocolate cake piece as some comfort – sure it’s a really good cake but it doesn’t help the pain really. Then he and Rachael left to get their kid to go home and left me to lock up on my own. Not to busy but still it wasn’t the funniest night in my life. Paula came by to say hi and that was the funniest part all night.